2011

It's been a while that I posted anything on this blog. Didn't feel attached to this blog cause I felt my life is really mundane. I have nothing great to update about my life but this is somewhere I can rant and talk about feelings.

And I know not much people are reading, but I don't need people to read. I just need a place to rant. That's all. That's what a blog should be used for, isn't it?

2011 went pretty well and not so well. It has it's good and bad times but overall, I am happy that up to now, it's not as bad as 2010.

Chinese New Year, Valentine day, my boy's birthday and our 1st anniversary just went pass. It was a extremely great celebration as I can say. I booked a hotel room in MBS hotel and it actually burnt a big hole in my pocket. I'm not really calculative, but I think having the room in such a high price could actually bring me and ma boy to batam for a quick getaway trip and spa. But he isn't able to take oversea leave so we just gotta make do in SGP.

I really enjoyed myself and hopefully he did as well cause he was having much more fun then I am. Invited his friends, navy friends just to squeeze in that little room that we had. :) I really appreciate those who came by and celebrated his birthday. He didn't get any gifts from his friends but I hope the gift I gave him was a best one in his 20 years.

Work has been fucked up. I am getting scolded for nothing and wish that I could do better than how I am performing now. I am really upset with my own confidence level now as I cannot bring myself up and my ego is really 0%. Every single thing I do, I have no confidence that I can do it, nor I can do it better. Cause everytime I do something I either get scolded/being said by others. I am really tired of such working environment. But all the advise I was told, was ' to gain experience, not just cause of the $$ '. Which is pretty true. If I want to continue in this trade, this is how I am going to come up with.

Getting scolded/being said by others. But how can I improve when my confidence level is so low? Sigh. I wish someone could actually understand what I am going through. Cause everyone is seeing on the outside, and not the inside.

It's painful being like this :(

Happy ending?

So... After Phuket trip 1 I decided not to post anymore photos cause... the photos resizing is so small and photobucket being a bitch and de activated my acct. :( So not gonna post any photos till I figure out how to use something else!

2010 is coming to an end in... 2 days time. And I am not going to end my 2010 bad. NO I AM NOT GOING TO END IT BAD.

So let's see, how far I have been in 2010.

I stopped studying in 2010. Went to work for Havaianas for the beginning year and stop and went for a Macau trip and did Sky Jump. Best jump ever! Came back and worked like a dog since then. Worked for a company called Total Solution which totally killed me for 4 months. No knowledge gained.

Got to know my boyfriend on February. Got tgt and the only celebration we had was our 1st month, zoo trip! Ever since then we were broke cause we were buying gifts for one another and surviving on our own.

Drove the car and had 2 accidents. 1 wasn't me but it was my car. 2nd was some fucking bitch taxi driver happily drove into my lane.

Joined CSP to work for YOG and F1. My first time involving such events! Big income too. :)

Birthday wasn't that successful cause not much people attend but I am thankful for those we came. Now I know who are really my good friends who actually bothered.

Baby went into Navy. Been staying his house every weekend from then on. And also looking after his baby cousin, Tylon!

Start working for current company Trio. Been happy since then cause this more of the job I am looking for. Not the office kind of girl.

Knew this guy who called J. Been contact for a few days and he disappeared after a day of misunderstanding. Gonna leave this in 2010.

Drove into JB a few times. Virgin time was with Sarah and Jeanette.


Tried Buffalo wings level 3. NO KICK! Manage to catch up and still have regular meet up with them. But disappeared after I joined Trio. Too much shows to handle.

Went to Phuket for my 1st oversea job with Bessie. Great experience of sleeping less than 3 hrs a day. And after so long going to Thailand again felt good. Extremely good. Went for 8 days.

Got back in touched with my ex boyfriend, talked a night and we suddenly become strangers again. Gonna leave this in 2010 as well.

Then celebrated christmas at Aunt's place. 1st christmas with Kang Wen. Have a jolly well time with my cousins. Played Monopoly board game. Then went to meet Alex and friends for gift exchange. Got a extremely nice pen to write for my work. And played monopoly deal till 3am. Great Christmas.

And to now. :)

Going to look forward to 2011 cause I will be handling more projects, more challenge and meeting more new people. And also our 1st anniversary! On February after Chinese New Year and Valentine Day. :)

Going to watch movie before my boss comes back!

Have a great ending of 2010. And this will the last post of 2010.

Hello 2011! I am ready to have new challenges with you.

Phuket part 1

No one can imagine how boring this show is. Gosh I am playing fb games, watching movies, taking short naps in between.

I miss SGP. But thinking that I am leaving Phuket in another, 3 days, I can't bear to leave to. :(

I miss ma boy.

Phuket

I can't wait to go back SGP and be in your arms again.

I miss you baby. So much :'(

I'm currently at Phuket working. For some retarded sessions which is fucking nonsense. I can't wait to go back SGP and spend time with ma boy.

But I would really like to pack a Thai cook in my luaggage so I could bring him/her back and cook awesome Thai food for my mother.

It's 1.04am in SGP and 12.04am at Phuket. I am a Singaporean and I would prefer to be asleep right now.

Dear me,

Where is the carefree and not bothering about so much things V? Where is all the self esteem she had, and never cared about what the consequences? Where I could not be bother about $$ issues and having problems controlling my feelings. Holding back my feelings, holding back my tears and fight back to anything that comes in your way?

Truth is, I can't hold it longer.

My walls for self esteem went down. I could never think ' I can do it ' anymore. It's either, ' am I doing it the correct way? Sure about doing it? Um I don't think I can manage it anymore. '

I don't know what to do with life. Sigh.

My work is actually killing me. Getting scolded for nth at all. And even when its not my fault, it is still my fault. Wtf is that. Sigh. I need somewhere to relax, somewhere that I could actually let loose my hair and enjoy the breeze. I wanna go for some beach resorts and have fun there.

Met this new friend, J. He is extremely nice to me but till yesterday. Sigghhh. I flare at some nonsensical things. :( I feel extremely bad and guilty for the things I said to him and giving him attitude. He treats me really good!!!! SIGH :( Why am I always like this. Really gotta FUCK MY LIFE. Sigh.

Truthfully say, I do miss him as a friend. Haven't had fun ( I mean fun is really fun with laughter ) for a long time. :( Or maybe its just me with my work. Anyway I just text him so I pray PRAY he will reply me soon.

Ok I'm leaving the office now.

Cause youre amazing the way you are, Baby

(My boy in the middle, so proud of him (L) )
















11/11

Gonna take out my sleeping time just to blog this post, on this date. I missed the timing, so the date still counts. Heh.

Baby, you're 1 amazing boy. You have always been here for me despite me always demanding so much things. You give me what I want, you give me what I asked for, and you give me things that I didn't expect you would.

You make me know what I want, aim for what I want. You always support my ideas, support me throughout even you know its gonna be hard for me. Heart breaking for you but you know I am stubborn. I willing to give and go for everything I wanna try.

We quarreled, we make up we kiss.

Baby you changed my life so much. Making me know much more in life. It's not just about me, it's not just about you, it's about us.

We have gone through so much. And I know we will continue to go through much more tougher and smoother roads down the years baby.

From,

Graduation > Me working at TSM, you working freelance for unusual > Went zoo for our very 1st month > My birthday > I went back to doing freelance > you went into Navy > We fight we quarreled we made up > I joined Trio > and now.

I have so much fun with you.

I love you, always have and always will.

22/02/2010

Nobody can do it better than you

Finally a post with photos.

Place : Tuas South Ave 14
Song : Just the way you are
Mood : SLEEPY

Right now where I am is really ridiculous. Seriously. Look where I am at! Tuas....... What is this. I was sent to here and now I am waiting for all the equipments to come and I can rest a little while. I am really exhausted.

Anyway, now I am working full time at Trio. It's a event company and I am doing coordinating. Position : Coordinator. Sounds fun? All the bullshit will be thrown to you. Seriously. Urgh. But anyway I am the 1 who chose this job, and I gotta accept the fact then. :( I miss being a freelance. Choosing your own jobs, and picking your own working days.

Been working for the past 3 weeks alr, which is pretty good. Just that there's this bloody bitch has been against me all the while. I didn't realize it until very last moment. Seriously I dislike her. Been treating her so nice, and this is what I get from her. Fuck you bitch.

No I am not letting you to step me all over and having your dirty footprints on me. I will take my own shows soon and you watch. Watch how it actually works. You just came into this line for less than 6 months, and you think know more than me? WAIT FUCKING LONG OK.

Ok, nuff said.

Boy and I are pretty good now. I can't wait to see him soon. This weekend! Every weekend I am looking forward to seeing him and having him next to me. His the last that I'll see at night and the first when I wake up. (L)

Ok my laptop battery is dying and my phone is dying as well. Ossshhhh.... I need a power point!!!! PLSSSSS GIVE ME SOME ELECTRICITY.

Will update again! And I have change my blogskin, looks pretty cute~~~~

Till then.