2011

It's been a while that I posted anything on this blog. Didn't feel attached to this blog cause I felt my life is really mundane. I have nothing great to update about my life but this is somewhere I can rant and talk about feelings.

And I know not much people are reading, but I don't need people to read. I just need a place to rant. That's all. That's what a blog should be used for, isn't it?

2011 went pretty well and not so well. It has it's good and bad times but overall, I am happy that up to now, it's not as bad as 2010.

Chinese New Year, Valentine day, my boy's birthday and our 1st anniversary just went pass. It was a extremely great celebration as I can say. I booked a hotel room in MBS hotel and it actually burnt a big hole in my pocket. I'm not really calculative, but I think having the room in such a high price could actually bring me and ma boy to batam for a quick getaway trip and spa. But he isn't able to take oversea leave so we just gotta make do in SGP.

I really enjoyed myself and hopefully he did as well cause he was having much more fun then I am. Invited his friends, navy friends just to squeeze in that little room that we had. :) I really appreciate those who came by and celebrated his birthday. He didn't get any gifts from his friends but I hope the gift I gave him was a best one in his 20 years.

Work has been fucked up. I am getting scolded for nothing and wish that I could do better than how I am performing now. I am really upset with my own confidence level now as I cannot bring myself up and my ego is really 0%. Every single thing I do, I have no confidence that I can do it, nor I can do it better. Cause everytime I do something I either get scolded/being said by others. I am really tired of such working environment. But all the advise I was told, was ' to gain experience, not just cause of the $$ '. Which is pretty true. If I want to continue in this trade, this is how I am going to come up with.

Getting scolded/being said by others. But how can I improve when my confidence level is so low? Sigh. I wish someone could actually understand what I am going through. Cause everyone is seeing on the outside, and not the inside.

It's painful being like this :(